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Whip Maker

Whip Maker on the Apple App Store

Every application has a story behind it…

As an aside, my family is geographically separated.  On a recent visit to my parents’ house while my brother was in town — and after a few beers — our stepdad’s bullwhip came out.  I have to add, this is not the first occurrence of this phenomenon.  After a brief “refresher course” from the master, my brother and I took turns trying to produce the coveted crack…at times with a great deal of pain.  We both decided that we must finally master this skill.  That means we needed bullwhips. Continue reading

An Almost Successful Mugging

DISCLAIMER: This is an email forward I received from a friend. I am in no way associated with anything contained herein. I am truly sorry if I mislead anyone. It was not my intention. Thanks for stopping by.

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket… The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason… my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan… She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb…. after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life… Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws

  1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.
  5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
  7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
  8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
  10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
  11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.
  12. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

The Shredder

A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly,” said the young engineer. He turned on the machine, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, “I just need one copy.”

Lesson: Never, Never, EVER assume that your boss knows what he’s doing.

Starting a New Project…Wanna Help?

Help Wanted Sign
So…starting a new project. I am going to make it work, but if you are a genuis when it comes to this stuff, I could really use some help understanding it. As you may well know, I am a bit of a foursquare fan. I have been posting badge info for quite some time. What started out as a simple post to help me keep track of my own badges has turned into one of the most extensive foursquare badge information sites on the internet. And now, it is becoming more than one person can attend to and still have some semblance of a life.

In the beginning, I hand coded everything just using the WYSIWYG editor in WordPress. This was back when there were only 50 badges total. As the badge count grew, I moved on to coding it in DreamWeaver and pasting the code in the page. A bit later, I had about 150 pages of content that I was having to go back and update with new/updated information so I decided hand coding was not a viable option. I created a Microsoft Access database to generates all the code I need to update my pages with the click of a button. This was nice as it added a GUI to make tracking everything much more simple.

Now, I am at another crossroads and am wanting to take my project to yet another level. Here is what I have: a MySQL database, a Microsoft Access frontend, a WordPress site, two types of web pages I need to generate (badge lists and single badge pages), and a will to make my life easier. I have only just begun to learn php. My intent is to use the Access frontend to update the info in my MySQL database. I would like to only have to enter some snippet of short code into my single badge pages (something like [BadgeID 215]) and have the php query the database to pull the most current data. Same with the badge lists, but I assume that will be a bit more intense.

Here is how I work right now. I get a new snippet of info. I make the change in my database. I output the new code (for one badge update I generate 6 separate web pages) and copy/paste that code into the appropriate pages. Again, what once worked is now becoming a lot more work that it should be.

What I envision is simply changing the code in the MySQL database and having all the pages simply pull the data. Sounds simple, but I have no idea where to begin. If you are someone who knows about this stuff and have a few minutes here and there to help out someone who is wanting to learn, please let me know.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope to hear from you.

SocialScope Invite Giveaway – Vote for the Best Entry!

Ok, I know I said I would choose the top 10, but I only received 6. Here they are in no particular order. These guys are counting on you to vote for them. You can vote for two. Once you decide which ones are your favorites, just select them at the bottom of the page. To the applicants, thanks for entering! To the voters, thanks for taking the time, I know the winners will appreciate it and so do I.

Beewae

I have been waiting for an invite code for around 12 months

Joe

Dude! I am an avid follower of your blogs and tweets. I love to stay current on new apps and am trying to live a “transparent” life by using social networking apps to allow people to follow me around. Thanks for all you do. The foursquare page is awesome BTW!

Krystella

i’ve been very frustrated lately, the lagging of my ubertwitter, facebook app, flickr, foursquare, etc. It seems wrong having all of the applications inside my blackberry, they take a lot of memory spaces and make my berry lags. I first heard about SocialScope from twitter, when i was tweeting, as usual, i saw @thekruser tweets: deleting ubertwitter and facebook from my blackberry, SocialScope is the perfect app i need. well, i was kinda interested since then. @thekruser is a very friendly guy, he replies my tweets asking him about foursquare badges and socialscope and he told me there will be a contest coming up. Well, i can’t wait for it, and so here i am, participating in the contest. I tried to be as creative as i can, but a poem is what i can think of, this is a short poem, a very short one i guess. But this one is for all of you.please do vote:D

this may not be the best poem
im not a poet you guys know’em
thanks for your time, im not making shows
but this is how it goes..

twitter facebook foursquare flickr all at once
that would be something that everyone wants
everything is in one app
there will be no much work for me to tap

there’s no more time wasted
socialscope is what i wanted
i just hope my wish is granted
and everyhing will become completed

i think i deserve the SocialScope
this contest just give me some hope
please do vote for me
i really appreciate it:)teehee

So, how is it? I deserve to win this application, i am a teen who really tweet a lot, checks in a lot, and updates a lot.
Thanks for reading this guys, have a nice day!

p.s: took me hours to write this one :p

Kimberly

Hello, what’s up everyone? This is Kimberly and am writing this to get the socialscope invitation. So, I have übertwitter for my twitter, facebook application for facebook, foursquare, flickr and other social networking applications in my blackberry. When I want to tweet , update my status, and check in the place I am at, it sure is a lot of work to do, I have to open each and every social networking application. Not forgetting about how slow the facebook application is in the blackberry, and how the blackberry is lagging due to the small memory space left available. And when I heard about socialscope from @thekruser’s tweet saying: deleting übertwitter, facebook, etc from my blackberry, this socialscope is rocking, I was like WOW, what type of application is that. So, I really think socialscope is the perfect thing for my blackberry, it’s just that, I’m the tweet-update-checks-in-anytime-anywhere person, it will be perfect for me. Socialscope is still ɑ private beta, and I tried to sign up for the invitation, but to no avail, I have not received any invitations, it’s been like weeks waiting. It was ɑ very nice of thekruser to reply my tweets asking about all the badges and socialscope, when he told me he’s holding the contest, I can’t wait for it, it’s ɑ very good opportunity for me. Well, I’ve heard about how great and perfect the application is, and I can’t wait to have it. So, vote for this essay, I would appreciate it if you guys do vote:)thanks for reading and voting for me, have ɑ nice day everyone!

I’ve recently been extremely frustrated by the delays I get when I tweet or post a message on facebook. What is even more annoying is the pop up screen which says,”server down due to over-capacity”.

With so many people from all over the world trying to share their personal issues, ranging from africans to koreans, the server simply cannot hold the massive amount of messages being published every millisecond.

And just when I was about to throw down my blackberry and give up, I stumbled across a very promising application, SocialScope. To me, SocialScope seems like another way for me to spend my past time as minutes past. Seeing as it is not very popular yet, I find it quite pleasant to just post out my thoughts immediately one after another without having to leave my blackberry on for half-an-hour just to send one short comment to the internet.

This wonderful application, SocialScope is what every teen would dream of, because it is twitter and facebook on the same screen! No more wasting my time just to switch applications when I can do it all in one go!

I believe that once I got this application, I would use it to its full extent. Of course, I would not fail to promote it to other teens like me. Because I am a frequent tweeter, SocialScope would allow me to communicate with my friends in a more efficient way,and at the same time allow the application to gain popularity. A win-win situation for both of us.

And so I conclude that is why I believe I should win the application. I will really appreciate it if you guys vote for me. Thank you for reading this:)have a nice day!

Dennis

Hi! My name is Dennis, I’m from Indonesia. I’ve been following thekruser for quite a long time because of his awesome website about foursquare badges which really helps me unlock most of the badges available. Then I notice him tweeting from SocialScope, which makes me curious and I ended up googling about it. Most people said that the SocialScope is the best social networking platform which makes me interested in trying it. Then I signed up for the closed beta invitation, but I was never informed until now. Now is the best chance to try my luck once again to get the SocialScope on Blackberry which is presented by the kind and generous thekruser :D

Tirta

SocialScope is the best social media application, because SosialScope is a very comprehensive application. I always find information about SocialScope, because I need the invitation.
SocialScope very simple and practice, coz with one application we can enjoy the features
from many social network. SocialScope very useful for me, because my gadget its bold 9000 that hate low memory capacity. With SocialScope i can uninstall many applications and I can save my gadget memory.
I hope you cab give me invitation code, Thanks

Well, there you have it. These guys would really appreciate your vote. Remember, you can vote for two.

[poll id="8"]

SocialScope Invite Giveaway

SocialScope Logo

This contest’s entry period is over.

I will post the entries that I received in a separate blog post so you can vote.

SocialScope is a BlackBerry app that features twitter, facebook, flickr, and foursquare integration with the ability to simultaneously post to multiple accounts. It is hands-down my favorite twitter client. The problem is, they have been in private beta since 2008. Many people have been waiting for this app…and will continue to wait. You could request an invite or…you could enter my contest!

All you have to do to enter is tell me why you are the one person in the world that deserves a SocialScope invite more than anyone else! It is that simple. There are two ways to enter, and it couldn’t be easier: Continue reading