Let me preface this with: I know the complaints listed herein are rather petty. Furthermore, I understand there are far worse problems to have and that there are some who will read this that would love for these to be the least of their concerns. However, since this is my blog I can write what I want.

Next, I would like to certify that these events happened exactly as described. I know if I were reading this on someone else’s blog, I would raise the “Bullshit Flag” rather quickly. Either way, here is what happened…

So, my wife and I finally received our tax refund, much like the rest of the nation. We decided — also like most of the nation — to purchase a new TV. We have had our old one for almost a decade and it was time to upgrade.

Like responsible buyers, we did some research over a couple of days. Yesterday was the day.  I borrowed my neighbor’s SUV, as I was relatively certain our new TV would not fit in my Mustang.  We had it narrowed down between a 46″ Sony LCD and a 46″ Samsung LED. The Sony was our favorite. As we walked to the kiosk, I happened to notice a larger TV for only a couple hundred more. Instantly, our minds had changed: the 50″ Samsung plasma. Beautiful TV. 2010 model. Only been available for a couple of weeks. Oh, yeah…the works: 1080p, 4 HDMI ports, 3 component video connections, 2 optical audio outs, a VGA port, internet ready…the whole 9 yards. It was decided.

To go with the new TV, we need a new stand. Again, being responsible buyers, we weighed the options. Do we wall-mount or do we put it on a stand? Too short of a stand and my boxer would surely get slobber all over it.  If you have owned a boxer, or know of any one who has, you know what I mean.

As we were deciding, my wife noticed a gorgeous stand that provided options. It was a stand with a raised mount. Sweet! Three options: set it on the stand, mount it on the raised mount, or — and this is the cool part — the raised mount could be omitted and the same bracket could be used for a wall-mount.

The decision was made. With an “I have made a good, informed decision” air about me, I made the purchase.

And so the turmoil begins.

By the time we got home and got everything into the house it was very late.  I had to be up at 4:00 am, so we decided to stifle the urge to assemble everything that night. Upon returning from work today, I had an epiphany. That TV looked a little large to fit where we needed it to go. Horrified, I measured.

You guessed it: ONE HALF OF AN INCH? SERIOUSLY? A HALF INCH?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!

Nope, not kidding. Half an inch too wide. Son of a bitch. Oh, yeah…the stand? 5 inches too wide. All that preparation…and no measuring. So, I got online and did more research. Found a comparable model that was exactly on half-inch narrower. Another Samsung. Noting the model number, I geared up to head to the store.

Sheepishly, I asked my neighbor to borrow his SUV again to return my “well thought out” purchase.  He said, “Sure,” and decided to tag along. We arrived at the store at 8:25, 35 minutes before they closed. A quick explanation to customer service resulted in the lady telling me to have a salesman simply write the SKU numbers down on the piece of paper she handed me as she got the paperwork in order. I was told to return the paper to her once I had collected the required numbers. No problem.

As I arrived in the TV section, I noticed only one salesman working it. He was “involved” with a customer who seemed to be rather irritated, so I simply told him I needed some help when he was finished. Confident that I had the TV I needed already selected, I went to look at the stands. I made a selection and returned to the aisle where the TV I was planning to purchase was located. It was then that I noticed the same guy I had seen the night before. The day before he was unable to come to a decision. Now, he was nervously pacing by the TV I had selected. He had a different salesman with him.

After about 20 laps, he finally said he would take it. I joked to my neighbor saying, “Ha, ha, ha…knowing my luck, he just bought the last one they had in stock!”

Don’t get ahead of me, people.

A few minutes later, the salesman I had originally spoken to broke off from the irritated guy and asked what I needed. I told him I simply needed SKUs. He obliged. He returned to mad guy — who was now accompanied by the store manager — and I returned to customer service. I handed the lady the paper and I was ready to go. I was to give the receipt to the security guard at the front and that he would have my new TV brought up from the warehouse. It was 8:45.

8:50…no TV.

8:55…still nothing.

Closing time…still waiting.

At 9:15, 15 minutes after they closed and 30 minutes after I was ready to leave, I hear my name being called from customer service. Fearing that I had made an accurate prediction earlier, I approached the counter. “We are really sorry, but the stand we sold you is out of stock.” Instead of selecting a different one, I opt for a refund. I headed back to the front to get the TV loaded.

Nothing.

9:20…no TV.

9:30…here comes the TV. But wait…it is not for me. It is for Mr. I-have-to-pace-for-20-laps-before-I-buy-a-TV.

After another 10 minutes of waiting, Mr. I-have-to-pace-for-20-laps-before-I-buy-a-TV comes walking back to customer service. His new TV won’t fit in his car. I resisted the urge to point and laugh. So, what do you think he does? He asks me to ask my neighbor to drive his new TV home for him. Fat chance, jackass!

At 9:45, I get another call from customer service. “We feel horrible. We just sold the last one of the model you selected to that gentleman right over there.” I was a little mad. Scratch that…I was furious. That bastard!

I opt for a refund. I am too mad to TV shop. Besides, they have been closed for 45 minutes. I need a beer.

I get home, explain the situation to my wife, and head to the fridge.

No beer.

I get in the car and drive to the store. They have one 12 pack of Bud Light Lime left — my beer of choice. Happily, I grab it and head to the register.

Forgot my ID.

Drive home and get my ID. Get back to the store.

Store is closed.

Drive all the way across town. All they have is one 22oz bottle of Bud Light Lime. Fuck my life!

So here I sit, writing this post.

No TV.

No stand.

The one Bud Light Lime I had is long gone.

Hope tomorrow is better.

Hope your night is better than mine.

A Bad Night: You Can't Make This Shit Up is a post from: thekruser.com

No one can be happy all the time, least of all someone like me. I can be doing something I thoroughly enjoy, yet still have something to be angry about. It is human nature…at least it is my nature. Anyone who knows me knows that I enjoy twitter. However, there a few things that people do that irritate me. Here are the top 5:

1. Tweet a non-mobile-friendly link. I think it is the general consensus that twitter is a mobile-driven application. We share things we are doing and information we have found in 140 characters or less. There is nothing that irritates me like reading a tweet that interests me with a link attached that when clicked takes me to a site the bricks my phone. This is not necessarily the fault of the tweeter (if that’s a word) in most cases. I blame the webmaster. How hard is it to just serve a mobile-friendly theme to a mobile device? Answer: not hard at all. I have managed to do it with all my blogs. Webmasters: FIX IT!
2. The follow, unfollow, follow, unfollow. Make up your mind. You either want to read what I type or you don’t. How can it change from day-to-day?
3. The five-minute updater. I’m home. I’m walking to the door. I’m going inside. I just stubbed my toe. I’m in the kitchen. I’m…HOLY CRAP!! No one cares! You want to tweet that you are home, fine with me. I’m happy for you. No one wants to read a play-by-play!
4. Telling me I said something bad. Hey…here’s an idea…if you don’t like what I tweet, UNFOLLOW ME! Like I care that you are pissed that I said something. Hello…free world and all!
5. The 20 tweet long message. I must admit, I got this from someone else. You can read it here. It is actually the reason I am writing this post now. NEWSFLASH: there is a 140 character limit for a damn reason. That is all you are supposed to use. If you have to send multiple tweets with “(con’t)” or “–>” send me a damn email, or blog about it and tweet the link (it had better be to a mobile-friendly site, though).

I know that we are all guilty of one (or more) of these from time to time and it never seems like a bad idea when you are the one doing it. However, keep in mind that people read your tweets and they get annoyed. And now that I have vented, feel free to continue your life.

The Top 5 Things I Hate When People do on Twitter is a post from: thekruser.com

Now, this is a subject that all of us could rant about for hours (or pages depending on your style), but it is one that I feel I must touch on. Now, all of us have been guilty of at least one of these at one time or another, be it inadvertent or purposefully, so I suppose I am ranting about every driver out there…including myself. However, if you are a habitual offender of one or more of the below, know that there are hundreds or people out there just hoping you piss off the wrong guy while driving through a dark alley.

1. The Non-Thankful Cutter-Inner
   This one makes the top of my list because it is the one the pisses me off the most. How many times have you been nice enough to slow down (or at times COMPLETELY STOP) to either let someone in or let them cross and the thoughtless DICK did not expend the energy it takes to raise their fucking hand for a little courtesy wave? HELLO!!! I just went out-of-the-way to help you out, and you can’t even say thank you? I wish I were in a 1975 F-150 with a BrushMaster front bumper and no concern over a small hike in my insurance premium. You and your fancy Rolls Royce/Mercedes/BMW/whatever! GRRR!! My blood boils at the thought! I have gone so far as to roll my window down in the rain and stick my arm out the window to wave to thank someone who let me over in a traffic jam (it was dark out and I had tinted windows…don’t judge me).
2. The I-Will-Never-Let-You-In Guy
   This is the antagonist to the Non-Thankful Cutter-Inner. This is the guy that sees you trying to get over and will not let you in. Now, I am not talking about the guy who won’t let in the Traffic Skipper (see below), I am talking about the guy that won’t let you off the on-ramp of the highway. The place you have no other choice to be. Seriously, you prick?? Like letting me in is really going to add any time to your journey! Look around! No one is moving! It is a traffic jam, asshole!!
3. The Slow-Fast Guy
   This is the idiot that is driving 10 mile per hours UNDER the speed limit in the fast lane. Then, when you go to pass, he decides to hammer down and take her up to 10 OVER the speed limit just to not allow you to pass. Again, a beat-up, rusted-out 1975 F-150 would come in handy. Oh, how I would like to run you off the road, you and your little rice-burner with exhaust that sounds like a pissed-off bumblebee.
4. The Fast-Slow Guy
   Again, the antagonist to the last guy. This is the jackass that will fly up on you and almost rear-end you, slam on his brakes, get pissed off, pass you, then slow down. I am the guy that religiously uses cruise control, usually set at 5-10 over depending on the flow of traffic. I won’t turn off the cruise control for anyone. Little irritates me more than having to take off the cruise control because some idiot decided to get in front of me then slow down. If you want to go faster than me, so be it…it is a free world, but make up your damn mind. If you pass me in a fit of rage because I am going too slow for your liking, then I catch you 10 minutes later without having sped up at all, you are a moron and I hope someone runs you off the road!
5. The Traffic Skipper
   You know the guy I am talking about. A line of traffic is forming in the right lane, so this guy hammers down in the left lane (or vice-versa) in an attempt to bypass the traffic. Then he will go to the end and try to cut someone off to get over. It is at that point that all of us in the traffic lane become brothers. We all stay bumper-to-bumper until we pass the jerk so as to not let him in (this action is not to be confused with those of The I-Will-Never-Let-You-In Guy). Then the Blue Falcon (again, see below) lets him in. Now my fury is directed to the Blue Falcon for being…well…a Blue Falcon!
6. The Blue Falcon (a.k.a. The Buddy Fucker)
   This is the guy that lets The Traffic Skipper in, or functions in some other similar capacity. We are all working as a team to keep The Traffic Skipper from completing his mission, and this guy lets him in, either on purpose (waving him in and then inadvertently creating a new species of Inconsiderate Driver…now we most likely are witness to a Traffic-Skipper-Non-Thankful-Cutter-Inner) or by not paying attention to the guy in front of him letting a gap form in front of him, of which The Traffic Skipper takes full advantage. Pay attention, prick!!
7. The I-Can’t-Drive-A-Stick Guy
   This is the asshole that kills the car when the light turns green. It usually happens at one of those only-green-for-10-seconds lights. This guy just cannot seem to get the concept of a manual transmission and can usually not get the car started with any time left for anyone other than himself to charger through the light! Here’s an idea…IF YOU CAN’T DRIVE A STICK, DON’T LEAVE IN ONE!! Oh, and God forbid this asshole be stopped facing uphill. So many times I have wanted to just get out of my car and walk up to that idiot, rip them out of the car, drive the car to the top of the hill for them, leave it in neutral, get out, and give it a shove.



8. The I-Can’t-Park Guy
   Pretty much goes without an explanation, but one irritates me more than others. The jackass that takes multiple spots! What a dick! You either think so much of your vehicle that it warrants you taking two spots to avoid door dings (in which case, I pray that someone t-bones your car while you are shopping) or you are just such a moron that you cannot negotiate your vehicle well enough to get it between the lines (usually, but not limited to, someone in a long bed, quad cab, dually who has never driven a truck before).
9. The Parallel Non-Parker
   Again, should go without explanation, but I cannot go without tell you what irritates me! The Parallel-Park-Too-Close Guy. We, as GOOD drivers, are able to parallel park accurately, neatly leaving our vehicle centered in the lines, 12-18 inches from the curb. The Parallel-Park-Too-Close Guy is not competent enough to be able to do the same. He parks in front of you and is usually 2 feet into your space and 3 feet from the curb, making it impossible to pull out without backing up. You shift into reverse and look in your mirror. It is then that you realize that you have fallen victim to The Parallel-Park-Too-Close Tag Team. The guy behind you is 6 inches from your bumper. Holy Shit!! Someone get me a bat or a sledgehammer. Now you are forced to either sit and wait for one of the two jackasses to return to their vehicle (not a great idea if your temper is anything like mine) or doing the 900-point turn to try to get out without damaging your vehicle. I NEED A 1975 F-150!



10. The Spot Stealer
    You are in a parking lot searching for an open spot. You see someone getting into their vehicle, so being the courteous driver that you are, you wait with your blinker on to alert everyone as to your intentions. As the guy drives his vehicle out of the spot, some prick pulls right in. Those of us who have seen Fried Green Tomatoes are just itching to re-enact that scene! This category also extends to those who park where they are not supposed to: parking in the handicapped spot when you are not handicapped, a male parking in a spot reserved for expectant mothers, a customer parking in the employee of the month spot, etc.

I am sure this is not an all-inclusive list. Please, add your nominations in the comments. Better to vent here than it is to get arrested for beating the crap out of some jackass who desperately needs it!

Top 10 Inconsiderate Driving Styles: Are You One? is a post from: thekruser.com